Fibbin' Archie 233

Archie’s mobile rang. My Old Man’s a Dustman. Red.  

“Hi,” said Archie.

“Done the deed?”

“Yep.”

“Man, you don’t sound convinced.”

Archie swallowed. “I told her Grandma was sick.”

“What, your Grandma? Sick? Never!”

“That’s the trouble. And she might bump into her at the shopping centre.  It’s Grandma’s day for shopping.”

“Oh, and of course. What do girls do when they’ve nothing else to do?  They go shopping. Plonker, or what?”

“I know.”

“What did she say when you told her?”

“Well, she looked all worried. Then she said we should take her some flowers. So I said she was too sick. Then she said we should visit her when she’s a bit better.”

“And what did you say to that?”

“I said it might be a nice idea.”

“You didn’t! You’re worse than a plonker. You’re mental, you.”

“I know. I tell you, they’re not worth the bother, women.”

“You’re fibbin’ again Archie. You know you think she’s worth the bother.”

“I know. But.” Archie noticed another call coming in. “Ollie’s calling.”

“Well, get it then. Tell him to meet us at the corner of Canal Street. In twenty. See ya!”

Archie hoped Red wasn’t going to interrogate him as well. He needn’t have worried. Ollie was more concerned about Red’s daftness than Archie’s.

“Canal Street? What’s he want to do then? Throw stones at the ducks? Man, it’s freezing out.”