The pain came
in waves and the waves were getting closer and closer together. She remembered
what Narisja had told her: look at the pain; see its shape; give it a name.
Make it shrink. Count it through. Remember that each pain is bringing the baby
closer to being born.
She wanted to sleep.
It had been going on for four hours now. But the pains were too close together
to give her that space.
Narisja examined her
for the third time. She had insisted that the younger woman should lie on the
table.
‘That’s not hygienic,’
said the Mother.
‘How can the Child
dirty a place?’ asked Narisja. ‘How can the blood and afterbirth of his Mother
harm?’
The Mother held her
legs apart, her feet flat on the table. The midwife placed a metal instrument up inside her. Another wave
of pain came over the Mother. Her muscles tightened around the cold steel. The
midwife waited for the contraction to stop. The Mother felt the pain fade and
her body relax.
‘Good,’ said Narisja. ‘Eight centimetres dilated.
Almost time to push, though don’t do it until I say so.’
The Mother returned to
her bed. Seconds later, she was up on the ceiling of the cave, looking down at herself.
She watched herself writhing and cursing. She was shocked at how brutally she
pushed the older woman away.
‘Fuck you, Gabrizan,’
she heard herself shout. ‘Bloody waterfalls. Why couldn’t you control your
damned willy - instincts? What sort of Non-Stopes freak are you? How dare you
impregnate me? You seduced me. You seduced me and left me.’ She tried to put
her hands into her ears and blot out the animal-like scream the woman on the
bed was making. But she couldn’t put her
hands into her ears, because her hands and her ears were down there, not up
here.
Suddenly she hated
him.
The bastard. The
absolute bastard.
She had a sudden
overwhelming urge to push.
‘Not yet,’ she heard
Narisja say. There was someone else in the room. Another woman, she thought. She felt hot. The cool
flannel on her forehead brought her back down from the ceiling.
‘I’m sorry for
swearing,’ she murmured.
The older woman
nodded. There was a hint of a smile in her eyes. Then she was coming at her
with the metal thing again.
If she brings that near me, thought the Mother, I’ll
have to push and the baby will split its head open.
She remembered to pant
as the cold metal went up inside her again. Narisja nodded.
‘Can you remember what
I told you about pushing?’ asked Narisja. ‘Head down and push towards your
womb, towards the baby’s exit.’
The urge was so great
now. The Mother pushed with the next wave of pain. The pain disappeared as she
pushed.
‘Good, good,’ said
Narisja ‘But wait a second. Now pant again. The cord is round His neck.’
She must get it
off. She could not lose this baby. He
must not die. He was the one connection with the man she had loved - still
loved, though he had treated her badly.
The midwife worked
inside her, pulling and twisting. Two
more pains came. She just had to breathe through them this time. Then the
midwife nodded. The Mother knew that this was going to be the strongest yet.
She breathed in deeply and as the air went out again, she pushed as hard as she
could.
She felt the ball of
the baby’s head in the space between her legs. She felt as if her body was
going to explode. She needed help. They must help her. This was a sensation she
had never had before. She was about to disintegrate. She would lose herself.
‘I’m going to have to
cut the skin,’ she heard Narisja murmur.
Oddly, it was only
then that she could really see the other woman. She was small and dark-haired,
and had a twisted lump on her left shoulder. As she turned to hand the midwife
the knife, the Mother could see that she only had one eye. Where the right one
should have been there was just a fold of skin, maybe a distorted eyelid. I
don’t want her near my baby, thought the
Mother. I don’t want her touching my child.
‘I’m going to be sick,’
cried the Mother.
Narisja handed her a
bowl. But she wasn’t going to be sick. She just couldn’t think how else to
describe this strange sensation.
‘I’m sorry,’ said the
old woman. ‘This may hurt.’
She felt the cool edge
of the knife and she felt her flesh tear, but there was no pain. She felt the
head slip forward and the strange sensation was gone.
‘Just one more push
now, and He’ll be there,’ said the old woman.
The pain came and the
Mother pushed with it, so it didn’t hurt any more. She saw the one-eyed woman
take up the small human parcel and wipe away
some of the blood and other fluids from its skin. She put her finger in
its mouth and forced it open. It began to cry at once.
The midwife cut the
twisted mass of blue and red flesh, which joined the baby to the Mother’s body.
The little parcel began to cry more fiercely as if it knew it was no longer
connected to its mother. The one-eyed woman laid the baby on the now flatter
stomach of the woman, whilst the midwife pulled at the cord of which was still
coming out of the Mother’s body. The baby became calmer now.
‘Still push with the
pains,’ murmured Narisja, as she frowned and looked up into the younger woman’s
body.
The pains were milder
now. She pushed more gently. She was afraid the baby would roll over and fall to the ground.
She felt the last of
it all come away from her. The small creature on her stomach was making sucking
noises. Narisja placed the blue-red material into the bowl, which the one-eyed
woman held up to her.
‘That is promised to
Jansen Metlan. It will make his soil richer,’ she said. ‘Take it now, Saratina.’
Saratina nodded and
shuffled out of the room.
Narisja smiled at the
Mother and laid her large bony hand on the baby.
‘Welcome, Peace Child,’
she said.
The Mother looked at
the crying lump of flesh, which until so recently had been part of her body.
Its eyes were shut. Its tiny hands were made into fists and one of them was in
its mouth. Its face was all wrinkled and the remnants of her blood were
beginning to dry on its skin.
This was a living
creature. This was her son. Suddenly the child opened its eyes. It seemed to
stare right into her. She noticed the downy blond hair above its creased forehead. This child was wiser than her. This
babe understood everything. She recognized those eyes. They were his father’s
eyes.
‘Does the Peace Child
have a name?’ asked the midwife.
The Mother shook her
head.
Brings it all back, Gill!
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