Babel - Rozia's Log

I can’t believe what I did this evening. Perhaps it was the nectar that made me do it. Or, it’s just been such a draining day, what with Joshran Kemnat’s departure and everything. Perhaps I was jealous of Sophia. Finally, she and Ben Alki have got together. The months I’ve been trying to get her to make a move. We’re not so old-fashioned that we can’t let a guy know we fancy him, are we? She’d been torturing herself for weeks. He was the same. Well, not quite, exactly. Blokes just aren’t. But I’d heard him often enough. Telling the others just how much he fancied her. He was a bit crude, I suppose, but I’m sure half the time they just do that, I mean talk like that, because they’re shy really. They just talk about all the physical things. Bit silly really. Because if it was in fact that simple, why not just go for it, like the animals do?

Then, of course, we had been drinking nectar. I’m sure the nectar was stronger than normal, this time. The controllers do that sometimes, alter the strength. Maybe it was a sort of celebration, or compensation for Elder Joshran. He was such a nice man, and we’re all sad now.

No, but when I saw Sophia leave with Ben Alki, I’m pretty sure they must have gone back to his place, and they would have had sex. Why not? After that horrible thing he had to do today… I hope they won’t be like Marijam and Nazaret, though – Kaleem’s parents – failing Stopes. Since we heard about that, we all get worried. I wonder if only girls worry like that?

Then there was me, and there was Kaleem and we were alone in the bar. We were being almost as bad as Ben Alki and Sophia. He obviously didn’t know what to say to me and I had no intention of going until he did say something. So there we sat. And then I come out with it. “Where can you get Black Tulpen on Terrestra?”

You can’t. You just can’t. They’re only grown on Zandra. Sure, you can get black tulips here, but only the ordinary-sized ones, and they don’t mean anything. Nor are they anywhere near as expensive here as the big ones are there.

Really, though. Black Tulpen. Kaleem played it down when he said a Zandrian girl can show a guy that she fancies him. It’s much more than that. The Black Tulpen mean that the girl wants to go to bed with the boy. What’s more, she’ll probably have him round to her place, dress beautifully for him, drown herself in perfume, cook him a great meal or get the Autochef to do something good. She may even pay for a little holoholiday for the two of them.

He probably thinks I’m a complete slapper.

It is all right coming from Zandrian girls, I suppose. They’re all a bit more outgoing on that planet anyway. We’re just too old-fashioned and shy on Terrestra.

But I’ve always liked Kaleem. Even before he went off and became the Peace Child, I thought he was quite nice. He was always very serious, and quiet as well. I wonder why he used to live down in the old cave system like that? He didn’t go out much – you never saw him in any of the junior bars or the mixed sports clubs. He wasn’t shy though. He used to say what he thought. And he was intelligent. Really intelligent.

I’ll never forget that awful day when Stuart Davidson and Erik Svenson had a go at him about the way he looked. They really were cruel, and poor Miz Johnstone got into trouble for trying to explain why he looked the way he did and was then suspended from teaching because she’d given us some Hidden Information.

I suppose he is a bit odd-looking. He looks so much more normal though, now that he’s dyed his hair black, but his skin’s still much darker than everybody else’s. I think that was partly why I used to like him. Because he was different. I think I was fascinated by him but I didn’t fancy him back then. I suppose I wasn’t all that much into boys then, though I did go out with Erik for a short while – elders know why! What a mistake that was!

No, I just liked Kaleem. He was mysterious – because of his looks and where he lived – and straight forward at the same time. He wasn’t devious like some of the other boys. I mean, I just know they were thinking about sex all the time, not that they really knew all that much about it then. You could work out what they were going to get up to, or what they were thinking. You could trust Kaleem, somehow.

And when he went and disappeared. Even Pierre Lafontaine didn’t really know much and what he did know he had to keep secret.

Then Frazier Kennedy of all people – his grandfather, for goodness’ sake – called us to a meet and said he wanted to find someone to help him greet Kaleem – the Peace Child – when he came back from Zandra, I volunteered. Lots of the girls in our group did, and some of the boys. Frazier Kennedy interviewed us all himself and he chose me. I never did understand why, but I felt really honoured.

And to think how much I worried about not knowing what to say. I needn’t have. They worked out a speech for me. I was so nervous.

But Kaleem was as nice as ever. He did seem different, though, even through a communicator screen. He seemed more confident, somehow. And he’d lost that worried look he always used to have. I didn’t actually fancy him, not even then. I didn’t even think about anything like that. I’m sure, though, that was when I really started to respect him.

Tonight was different. Perhaps it was the nectar talking. I meant every single bit of what a gift of Black Tulpen means on Zandra. After Sophia went off with Ben Alki and I started to think about what they might be up to, I wanted Kaleem all right. I’d been watching him most of the evening, after I’d got those two sorted out. I love the way he moves – like an athlete or a dancer. He seems so strong, too. Mentally as well as physically, I mean. I wanted to do something to please him.

And so I blurted out that stupid question. I can tell you, the second I had, I wished we could have had a terrestraquake or something and that I could disappear forever.

He looked surprised. Then a bit awkward, as if he didn’t know what to say. Then he smiled.

“I don’t think you can,” he said. “They don’t grow here and they can’t be imported. Yet.”

“Only joking,” I managed to say. I had to look away from him, because I was so embarrassed.

“Can I walk you home, anyway?” He lightly touched my elbow, so that I had to face him again.

 “Well, which transporter route do you take?” I asked.

“No, I mean, walk,” he replied. “I’ll walk with you back to where you live, and then I’ll call up a private transporter from there. Or send for my grandfather’s.”

I couldn’t speak. What a lovely old-fashioned idea, I remember thinking. For starters, people don’t walk anywhere these days. Perhaps we are a bit mad, going absolutely everywhere by transporter, then spending hours at home on the exerciser or in the hologym to keep fit. And then if a boy and a girl want to do anything remotely like what Black Tulpen imply, they usually just go and rent a temp apartment for a few hours. It’s all so safe with the Stopes programme. 

 “You don’t live far away, do you?” he asked. “It’s about twenty minutes, isn’t it?”

How did he know that? Had he been looking at my profile? Did that mean he’d been interested in me as well?

“It’s a lovely evening for a walk,” he said. “It’ll be cooler now.”

My heart was thudding. Did that mean he was intending to take me to the park, perhaps, and we were going to sleep together there in the open? That’s frowned on, but people do do it. I suppose he’d get away with it… or would he… wouldn’t the information channels go berserk? I could just hear the robot reporter voices now. “Kaleem Kennedy. Our so called Peace Child, caught with his pants down in the Peace Park. Frazier Kennedy has to disown a young relation once again. Like mother like son.”

No, I couldn’t let that happen.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather…?” I couldn’t get the words out. Perhaps, after all, his wanting to “walk me home” was another form of rejection. I couldn’t bring myself to suggest that we hired a temp apartment.

“Come on,” he said, pulling me to my feet, and then steering me from behind, his hand at the back of my waist.

The robot glided over towards us. Kaleem lined his eye up with the sensor.

“Both bills on my account,” he said.

Seconds later we were in the lift, speeding up to the surface. We were no longer touching and there was at least fifteen centimetres between us. But it was as if this electric current was passing between us. I was convinced that if we touched again there would be sparks. We didn’t speak as we went up. Kaleem seemed to avoid looking at me. I was quite glad really.

He turned and smiled as the lift stopped. Something turned over in my chest and there seemed to be a lump in my throat.

He operated the switches on the doors and stood aside as I made my way through. Then we were out in the fresh air. It was much cooler than it had been earlier in the day, but still warm enough to feel comfortable. The night sky was clear and brightened by stars. The scent of honeysuckle and night-scented stock was so strong and erotic. You have to admit that Terrestra has recovered well after the poison cloud went.

“Told you,” he said.

Suddenly, I felt so comfortable with him. I found my voice.

“But it really must be fantastic, being up there, with the stars,” I said.

“Oh, it is, it is,” he replied. “Especially when you look down at Terrestra. Or Zandra for that matter. But it’s great looking up at the stars as well.”

“Surely they’ll send you somewhere else, one day, won’t they?” I asked. Goodness, it had been such a shock to find out that despite everything people had regularly left this planet, and he as Peace Child would surely have to go away again.

He shrugged. “I expect so,” he said.

We were walking across the Peace Park now, and without me telling him, we were walking in the direction of my home. He must have been looking up stuff about me. So perhaps he did fancy me as well, after all. Even before tonight. What a thought!

“So,” I said. I felt bolder again now. Despite the stars, the half moon and the soft lights from the lamps in the Peace Park, he would not be able to see if I blushed. “Have you ever had an offer of Black Tulpen before?”

He suddenly stopped walking and looked at the ground. His toe played with a piece of loose gravel.

“Yes,” he said. “There was an offer once. Just after I arrived on Zandra. Didn’t dare take it up, then, though.”

“Would you have liked to?” I found myself asking. Honestly, I must stop drinking nectar.

He laughed. “Of course,” he said. “Actually, she looked a bit like you. But blond.”

I suddenly felt hot. At that point, he took my hand.

I loved it, walking along with Kaleem. Yes, with Kaleem. I suddenly didn’t care that he was the Peace Child. Sure, I liked the strong person that being that had made him into, but he was still more Kaleem than Peace Child – whatever that really meant.

“Is it hard, being the Peace Child?” I asked him. Dumb question. But I needed something to say.

“Sure is,” he replied. He stopped walking. We were by what looked like an old shut-up entrance to one of the cave networks.

“Come over here,” he whispered, pulling me inside the shallow opening which covered the doorway.

He quickly looked behind him to see if anyone was watching, then I was leaning against the wall and he was pressed into me, kissing me hard on the lips. So, he was accepting my offer after all. And I wanted him. Oh, yes, I wanted him. It was obvious now as well that he did want to accept the imaginary Tulpen. In fact, the poor lamb was trembling.

Then suddenly, he stopped kissing me. He pulled away from me, and pushed my hand away from under his tunic.

“No,” he said. “Not here. Not like this.”

He straightened up his clothing.

“I’ve made a mess of your hair,” he said, smiling. “Sorry.”

Then he helped me to straighten it and my tunic. “Come on,” he said, “we’d better get home.”

He didn’t hold my hand any more, and we walked almost in complete silence.

He stopped right in front of my apartment block.

“I’ll see you again soon,” he said. “I’ve got your call sign. I’ll call you up.”

Then he gave me a little soft kiss on the cheek and he was gone. He didn’t even give me time to ask for his call sign. I’d be able to summon it up easily enough, and he had got mine – or so he said. I don’t know how he knew it. But I would have felt better if he’d given me his.

I didn’t know what to think. He’d seemed to fancy me. Oh, yes, there was plenty of evidence of that in the cave entrance. In fact, I don’t know how he managed to stop himself. And it really was clear that he’d thoroughly researched me.

Oh, and it’s not just that I fancy him. I think I adore him. In fact, in many ways tonight, he behaved like a perfect old-fashioned gentleman, and you know, I like him all the more for that. But, it was just so frustrating.

Then, just as I reached my apartment, I suddenly had this thought. Could it be that he’s a virgin? After all, he’d been offered Black Tulpen, just the once, when he was on Zandra, and he’d turned them down. And I guess he’d been too busy after and also while he was still on Terrestra. Doing all that training to become a Peace Child… and before that he was a bit young anyway, and he would have definitely found it hard to find somebody. I mean, everybody found him odd then. I know I liked him, but there was no doubt about it – he was very odd. So, I bet that’s it. He’s never done it before. That’s why he was trembling. Oh the poor, poor lamb.

Babel: Girls

Kaleem stared at his nectar. How could he get himself to drink this revolting stuff?  He braced himself and took a sip.

He was surprised. It wasn’t as bad as he had expected it to be. He took another mouthful. Maybe it was okay. It was beginning to do something anyway. Perhaps he would take Ben Alki up on his offer. Perhaps he would go and see the inside of a switch-off ceremony and find out what it was really like.

He took another big gulp of his drink. He put the tumbler back down, and then saw that half of the liquid had gone.

Suddenly, there were voices outside the entrance to the bar. Girls’ voices. A lot of giggling. Kaleem took another sip of the nectar.

Seconds later, they were in the bar. Kaleem tried to make himself look small. Despite the dyed hair, they would recognize him, even if they didn’t know why they knew him. He took another large swig of his nectar. It didn’t seem as sweet as it had before and he could tell that it had quite a punch to it. Why had he thought this so bad? It was really rather good.

The giggling and chattering stopped. Kaleem could feel them staring at him. He looked up at the mirror behind the bar. His heart missed a beat. Rozia Laurence was staring at his reflection. She went deep red. Kaleem felt the back of his own neck and his cheeks go red. He emptied his tumbler. Rozia turned back to the other girls. 

“Who is that? I know that face,” he heard one girl say.

“Kaleem Kennedy-Bagarin,” he heard Rozia reply.

He looked up at the mirror again. Rozia was going even redder.

“The Peace Child you mean?” hissed one of the other girls.  

“Yep,” replied Rozia. “I used to be schooled with him.”

“But I thought he was blond,” muttered another voice.

“I guess he’s dyed his hair so that people won’t recognize him so easily,” Rozia replied.

“Didn’t work, did it?” whispered another girl.

“Come on, let’s leave him in peace,” said Rozia, out loud. She looked up at Kaleem’s reflection and smiled. Her cheeks were still pink. She signalled to the others that they should go and sit in the corner on the far side of the bar.

The droid was pottering about behind the counter. It glided over to Kaleem.

“Would Sir care for another nectar?” the electronic voice asked.

Kaleem nodded. He was used to it now. He was enjoying what it was doing to him. The droid poured the drink.  He took the tumbler, got down from the high hoverstool and made his way over to where the girls were sitting. He suddenly felt very bold.

“Hi Kaleem,” said Rozia, smiling at him. Her eyes opened wide as she looked into his. “Let me introduce you to the others. Della, Marina, Renate, Jayne, Margiet and Sophia.”

The girls giggled and started to fuss over him. Kaleem found it difficult to concentrate. He certainly wouldn’t be able to remember who was who, even if he did remember the names. They all looked the same. That was probably one of the big disadvantages of aiming at perfect Terrestran looks. They all had the correct pale face, and dark, sleek hair. They were even wearing very similar tunics tonight, all of them the pale purple silk of mourning. Only Rozia was a bit different. Her face was so pretty with its fine, delicate features. And the way she kept blushing. Did that perhaps mean what he thought it meant? Hopefully. Maybe he had time for that sort of thing now. Of course, she knew him from before he was chosen as the Peace Child, before he went to live at the Citadel with the elders and before he’d gone to Zandra. Everyone admired him now. Maybe she had liked him a little bit even back then.

One name stuck out though, Sophia.

“Funny,” said Kaleem. “Do you know Ben Alki Mazrouth? He was here, just now. He had been hoping a Sophia would come in. You’re not her are you?”

The girl called Sophia wailed. “Damn, I’ve missed him,” she said. “We left it too late!”

“We had a job getting out this evening,” Rozia explained. “What with the departure and the wake and everything.”

Why have they all come out on mass like that? Kaleem wondered. What chance would the poor guy stand?

“Oh no,” said Sophia, biting her lip. “I’ll never get to see him.”

No you won’t, thought Kaleem. Not if you keep on turning up too late and if you bring all your hangers-on  every time. “Do you know where he lives?” he asked.

“Yes,” said Sophia slowly.

“Well, why don’t you get over there?” asked Kaleem.

“What?” said Sophia blushing. “I couldn’t. What would he think?”

“I’d say he’d be very pleased to see you,” said Kaleem. “Poor bloke’s had a tough day.”

“You just don’t do that,” another girl hissed.

“Well call him up at least,” said Kaleem. “Do you know his call sign?”

“Of course I do,” whined Sophia. “But I just can’t. If he’d wanted to see me, he’d have waited.”

“Are you actually…?” Kaleem started.

“No they’re not, but they’d both like to,” Rozia said. “They’re both just being incredibly stupid and not getting down to it.”

“Oh for goodness’ sake,” said Kaleem. He suddenly remembered a bunch of gigantic velvety black tulips, a blond version of Rozia and a missed opportunity. “On Zandra, if a girl fancies a guy, she just sends him a big bunch of Black Tulpen. He can either accept or decline. Saves a lot of bother.”

“Well what if a guy fancies a girl?” asked another girl.

“Just asks her out, like here,” said Kaleem. He took a mouthful of the wheat and rye. Oh, this was such a waste. Poor old Ben Alki, wanting a bit of nice female company after the horrible things he’d had to do, and here was the very one he’d wanted to be with, pining away for him. The nectar was making Kaleem much bolder than normal. “Come on then, call him,” he said.  

Sophia hesitated.

“All right then,” said Kaleem, “call him on mine. Then he won’t know it’s you.” He stretched out his wrist so that the minicompu was facing Sophia.

“Ben Alki Mazrouth 2751,” said Sophia tentatively.

The minicompu buzzed several times before Ben Alki answered, and the screen remained blank.

“Oh dear,” said Kaleem. “Looks as if he might have gone to bed. Or he’s taking a shower.” He went to log out.

“Hello,” said Ben Alki’s voice suddenly.  

“Hey there,” said Kaleem, “sorry to wake you. But I think there’s someone here who would like to see you.” He switched his minicompu over to visual and held it so that its camera was pointing at Sophia. Suddenly Ben Alki’s lean face was filling the small screen.

“Sophia?” asked Ben Alki, suddenly grinning.

“That’s right,” said Kaleem. “Now, shall we send her over to you or are you going to come here?”

“Send her over to me!” replied Ben Alki.

“Make him come here!” cried Sophia at exactly the same time.          

“She can’t go over there,” said one of the other girls.

“No, not the first time, on her own,” said another.

“You’d better come here, mate,” said Kaleem. “I don’t know. We Terrestrans, eh? Bit old-fashioned or what?”

He couldn’t believe he’d just done that.  Shy, different, awkwardly unterrestran, unzandrian Kaleem Malkendy-Kennedy-Bagarin had just had a go at match-making. And it looked as if it was going to be successful.

Suddenly their corner of the bar was buzzing. Everyone seemed to be speaking at once. Well, not quite all of them. Rozia and Sophia were in a huddle in the corner. Sophia  fiddled with her tunic and kept on smoothing her hair. The other four girls – whose names Kaleem still could not remember, were all over him.

“Do they really do that on Zandra?” asked one.

“Yes…,” he went to reply.

He barely had time to answer before another chipped in with; “Well what are Zandrain girls like? Which do you prefer, Kaleem, Terrestrans or Zandrians?”

“I don’t know. It depends …,”

“So just exactly what is it like, going in a Supercraft? What does it look like out there?”

“Well. It’s sort of……it’s.

“Gosh, you’re really brave you are….I bet it was scary when you were ill.”

“Yes, it was, it was , I erm …

“Oh, you lot, let him have a drink. Can we get you another drink, Kaleem?”

“I, er  no thanks” Kaleem managed to mutter. He leant forward and took another sip of the wheat and rye nectar. No, he didn’t want another. It had started to taste too sickly sweet again and the room was beginning to spin a little.

“Really, though,” said one of the girls. “What was it like going on a Supercraft? It must have been fantastic.”

Kaleem suddenly remembered looking out of the veriglass windows of the Supercraft. Yes, it had been fascinating to look at the planets and stars seeming to float by, once they had returned to normal drive. Yet, it had not been as intriguing as it might have been. On the way to Zandra, he was too nervous. On the way back, when he ought to have been more relaxed, he had been so disturbed by the voice file his mother had left him that he had still could not appreciate it. Besides all of that, he was quite nervous about coming back to Terrestra, meeting his grandparents for the first time, and being recognized as the Peace Child.

“I’d give anything to be able to do that,” the girl continued.

“Hi, guys, it’s me,” called a voice from the doorway suddenly.

The chatter stopped. Rozia nudged Sophia, who blushed deep red. Ben Alki walked into the room.  He smiled slowly at Sophia. Rozia whispered something to her. Ben Alki made his way to the table where the girls and Kaleem were sitting. Rozia indicated the table next to them with her head and pushed Sophia over to one of the seats next to it. The others watched in silence. Ben Alki and Sophia sat also in silence smiling awkwardly at each other.

Finally, Ben Alki leaned towards Sophia.

“Can I get you another drink?” he said. His voice was hoarse and high-pitched, very different from the voice which had asked the elder the serious questions.

Sophia nodded and blushed even deeper.

Then the chatter started again, the barrage of questions. Just how many languages did he know?  How did he manage to learn them? What had the prison been like? Was Charlek, the prison officer, really as friendly as they’d heard? Was it true that the food on Zandra was so much better that what they had on Terrestra? How did they manage to do that if they had no natural plant-life? Would the acorn programme really succeed?

They didn’t give him time to answer one question before the next one came along. There was a lot of giggling.

One girl, though, didn’t giggle, didn’t attack him with questions. She smiled gently now and then. Her eyes were wide open, reminding him a bit of the eyes of the adult-children in the dream he kept having.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ben Alki and Sophia walk hand in hand out of the door. He wished for a moment that he could do that. Slip away with a beautiful girl.

His throat became dry, but he could not face the mesmerizing sweetness of the wheat and rye nectar. He suddenly longed for cave water. He could not believe that he actually wanted cave water, after he’d been so bored with it for so many years. He wanted something that simple and now it wasn’t available. Not in a nectar bar, and not usually anywhere up on the surface.

Gradually, the questions stopped. The girls began to look tired-out by their own excitement. One by one, they started to leave.

Rozia didn’t, though. She stayed. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. She was gorgeous. Was she thinking the same? She kept avoiding his eyes. But then she would look up at him, smile shyly, blush, then look away again.  She made no attempt to leave either.

The droid pottered around, clearing glasses from their table. Soon, the New Laguna was as quiet as it had been when he had first come in.

“I suppose we ought to go as well,” Kaleem said. He noticed that his voice had gone high and squeaky, just like Ben Alki’s had. He was trying to pluck up the courage to ask her if he could see her home. Stupid thing to say. It made it sound as if he didn’t want to be with her any more.

“Where can you get Black Tulpen on Terrestra?” said Rozia quickly. This time she did not blush. If anything, she looked paler than usual. 

Kaleem’s heart missed a beat.