Monday 30 September 2024

Spooking

   

Chapter One  


 

Tom woke up. He was near a window. There was light shining on his face. He was in bed. But it wasn’t his bed. It was soft. It was possibly the most comfortable bed he had ever been in. Those weren’t his pyjamas he was wearing. In fact he wasn’t even wearing pyjamas at all. It felt like he was wearing some sort of loose tunic.

He tried to sit up. He couldn’t. His body just wouldn’t move.    

What was he doing here?  Where was it, in fact, and how did he get there? 

Well, he was definitely in a room. One that looked a bit like a church. An old one with pillars and arches. But it didn’t smell musty like those places normally did. 

He could hear something. Birds singing outside? No, maybe human voices. They weren’t talking though. They were singing. And there was something else. Something which seemed completely out of place. What was it?

A mouth organ.  He could hear a mouth organ. Somebody was playing a mouth organ. It was a sort of slow jig. As soon as he’d realised that, though, it stopped.  

Then he remembered his argument with Amanda. Well, it hadn’t really been an argument, but it had left him feeling battered. He was going to lose her. He was definitely going to lose her. He just knew it.

But that still didn’t explain how he’d got here, wherever here was.

Another part of his mind arrived. He remembered the accident. It was almost a relief. That was it then. He must be in hospital. Except that he couldn’t quite remember where there was a hospital near Southampton in a building like this one.

He tried to move his arms and his legs. He couldn’t. Nothing seemed to respond to his brain. He didn’t hurt anywhere either. Surely there should be some cuts and bruises even if nothing was broken?

Perhaps, then, the accident had been a long time ago. Or perhaps he was paralysed. This must be one of those places where they care for people like that. Maybe he’d even been in a coma for a very long time.

Had she been to see him? How old was he now?

“Oh, you’m awake then?” he heard a voice say. It was a young voice. Somebody else his age.   

The mouth organ sounded again. Just a couple of notes this time. 

Tom tried to turn, but he couldn’t.

“Don’t worry,” said the voice. “You won’t be able to move for a bit yet. You’ve gotta learn to do it again. S’alright.”

Tom went to speak. He tried to make out where the voice was coming from. He wanted to ask the speaker who he was.

“Hang on,” said the voice. “I’ll come round where you can see me.”

A shadow moved from the right side of his bed.

“There, that’s better, you can see me now,” said a young man about Tom’s age. Tom guessed he was probably another patient. He had a pointed face and long brown hair. He had a small pointed nose. He was very pale and rather thin. He looked almost weightless. “Marcus is the name, by the way,” he said and grinned. He played a little trill on his mouth organ. “Hey, it’s good to have another’un like me. Most of the people here are old and grumpy. The young’uns don’t hang around very long if they come here at all. It’ll be good to have some company me own age. I’ve heard you’ve got an awkward problem. Probably in for a longish stint, then.”

Tom wanted to reply. He tried to ask Marcus where exactly they were. He just couldn’t get his mouth to open. It also seemed as if he had forgotten how to breathe.

“Hey, mister, I saw a muscle move in your cheek then,” said Marcus. “You’ll be ready in about half an hour.” He played a fast trill.

Ready? thought Tom. Ready for what?

“You’ll be able to get up, and get cracking on whatever it is they want you to do,” said Marcus. “The sooner you get started, the sooner you’ll be out of here.”

Tom supposed that could be a good thing. Get out of this place, wherever it is, and get back to normal life. Go and find Amanda. Perhaps she might reconsider going to London … or could he go to Wales?

“Naw!” said Marcus, frowning. “I bet they’ll process you ever so quickly, despite what they said. They always do. Then I’ll be on me own again. Nobody ever hangs around here long. Especially the young‘uns. Except me, of course, I ain’t going nowhere.” He played two desolate sounding notes. 

“You again,” said another voice. It sounded like a woman. Someone a little bit younger than Tom’s mother. “What are you doing here? Haven’t you got things to be getting on with?”

“Just being friendly!” said Marcus. “Don’t you let her bully you,” he added, looking at Tom. He then darted between the pillars opposite Tom’s bed and disappeared completely.

Must be a door there, or something, thought Tom.

“So, how’s it going Tom?” said the woman. She was now standing right next to him, just where Marcus had been. It was really odd, because she hadn’t moved there. She was just there.

It must be the drugs they’ve given me, thought Tom. 

The woman smiled at him. She had long blond hair and very slender arms. Odd thing that she was wearing though. Very old-fashioned. Some sort of long white dress. But it did go with the building, he supposed.

“Still can’t talk?” said the woman. “Don’t worry. It won’t be long.”  She pulled the duvet off the bed. It was very white and very light. She started to examine his chest with her hands. He felt a very slight pressure and at the same time some life seemed to come back into his legs.

“You felt that, didn’t you?” she said and smiled again. She was very pale. Why was she so pale? He could understand about Marcus, who was another patient. But why were the nurses pale as well?

She fumbled in a canvas bag that Tom had not noticed before. She took out a long metal instrument that looked like an oversized fork. She prodded it into his knee. That hurt. One by one, more odd-shaped metal tools came out of the bag. She used them to test different parts of his body.  

“Yes?” she asked, as she stroked his arm with what looked like a rigid feather.    

Tom went to nod his head. He couldn’t make it move. The hope he’d had a few seconds ago faded. He must be paralysed after all. Then his head did move. He felt as if he was moving a huge boulder just with his head. But at least it moved.

“Excellent,” said the woman. “We’ll have you up and walking about later today.”

Walking about? So, he wasn’t paralysed. Perhaps he’d had some sort of operation.

“Good. It’s all good,” she continued. “I’m Rema, by the way. I’m your body coach. I’m going to get Zeboth along. He’ll be responsible for your daily care. Hopefully you won’t be here for very long. You youngsters usually aren’t.”

What about Marcus? thought Tom. There didn’t seem to be all that much wrong with him, except that he was very pale, but not really any paler than Rema.

“Except of course, our dear Marcus,” she added, frowning as she pulled the duvet back over him. 

She was doing it now, as well, just like Marcus had earlier. Reading his mind, apparently.

“Well then,” said a male voice. Another young male voice. It was coming form where Rema had just been standing.

How had that happened?

“I’m Zeboth,” said the owner of the voice. He was tall and slim, just like Rema. He had the same fine blond hair which was long and flowing and came down to his shoulders. He was wearing a pair of loose trousers and a floaty tunic, which looked as if they were made out of silk  He was pale, too, just like Rema and Marcus. “It is my job to help you with everything apart form the maintenance of your body. That is Rema’s department.”

Now it sounded like prison.

“Don’t worry, though,”  Zeboth continued. “You’ll be able to talk later today and then you can ask me questions … some of which I’ll be able to answer, hopefully. Now, are you comfortable enough?” 

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Tuesday 10 September 2024

Fibbin Archie by Gill James

 


Fibbin’ Archie
as an experiment

I have wondered for some time about the presence of the Golden Segment in literature. Those of us who like literature certainly recognise that stories presented in literary form have a shape that includes a beginning, a middle that follows certain conventions, but not too strictly, and an end. If these are out of balance we notice. But is this a learned response or is it natural?

The presence of the Fibonacci series in nature tends to suggest that we are dealing with something natural here. This series of numbers can be traced in the patterns of sunflower seeds, in rabbits breeding and in branch formation in plants and trees, to give just a handful of examples. In this experiment I have set out to work with this series. One might sub-title this novel “Writing by Numbers”. The first chapter is one word long, the final one is 28,657. I have labelled each chapter simply by the number in the series it represents.

In doing this I’ve not completely ruled out my normal way of planning fiction. Distilled from various story theories I find work for me, and in particular that of Robert McKee, the shape I favour is:

Inciting incident

Growing complexities (usually three)

Crisis

Climax (This is actually the gap between the crisis and the resolution and generally where all the excitement is. From this point onwards life can never be quite the same again for the protagonist, however the story resolves. Everything up to now was a rehearsal for this big moment.)     

Resolution

A more complex novel – and Fibbin’ Archie is complex – will have sub plots. How sub plots relate to the main plot is also to do with the Golden Segment. Andrew Melrose identifies a plot pyramid in Write For Children and I build upon that work in Writing for Young Adults.      

The Fibonacci series anyway produces the Golden Segment. We see this in the ratio of any two adjacent numbers in the series to their sum. That is there in the formula described above. There are echoes of it in the three act structure and the five act structure from the world of film and television and the slightly different version of this in stage play.

This is how I worked the mathematics out for Archie.

1,597

4,180




Inciting incident

2,584

6,764





4,181

10,945




1

6,765

17,710




2

10,946

28,656




3

17,711

46,367




60019 crisis

28,657

75,024


End



 

Note that the crisis point happens at about word 60019.  So there is a build up to it and then we come back down to the resolution. Once I reached word 46,368 I knew I had to make the stakes higher. 

Christopher Vogler suggests that sometimes we can follow a formula too rigidly. He identified what works for the film industry and based his suggestions for story on Joseph Campbell’s work. Vogler suggests that it is often more satisfying for the consumer when that formula is skewed slightly. The formula is skewed slightly in Archie. Content spills round the edges of word count. It could be, perhaps that numbers aren’t accurate enough to pinpoint exactly when events need to occur. What I have stuck to rigidly here is the word count per section, and then shaped the content to the section.   

At the end of the book I’ll be giving you some more information about what it was like writing this way. I welcome commentary on this project and for once this is a book I don’t mind you giving away for free; the more people who read it the better. By all means put the usual reviews on Amazon and Good reads, good or bad. I’d also welcome direct commentary which I’ll like to publish verbatim or collated in summary if there is a huge response. Please send your comments to g.james1@slaford.ac.uk.

Thank you for taking the time to read Fibbin’ Archie.

You must have noticed the pun by now. It is, of course, deliberate.      

610

Archie recognised Red’s red hoodie as soon as he turned into Canal Street. Red was still on his phone. He moved away from the other two. 

“You took your time, said Ollie.

“I came as fast as I could,” said Archie. “Foxy Burnett tripped me up. “

“What did he want?”

“My grandma.”

“You’re a having a laugh, ain’t ya?”

Archie shrugged.

“Yeah, well. Feisty old gal, your grandma. He ain’t got much chance.”  Red, who was still on the phone was now walking towards them. “Girlfriend,” Ollie mouthed.

“Who is she?”

Ollie shrugged. “Just some bird.” 

“Rightio,” said Red. “You take care. Can’t wait to see you again. Kiss kiss.” He ended the call. “Right, chaps, he said.

“I thought you weren’t into girls,” said Archie. Suddenly he was missing Amanda. He closed his eyes. She always smelt so nice. Just think, if he hadn’t agreed to come on this jaunt they’d probably be snogging by now.

“Not as much as you, me old lovely. Women have got to know their place. You can’t be with them all the time. You’ve got to make time for your mates.”

Archie opened his eyes again. Red was right. And he remembered what a relief it was to have some time away from her. The snogging was all right.  Great in fact. And she was a really nice person. Something stirred down below. God, not a stiffy now.  Yeah, and the frustration. 

And there was all the other stuff.  Remembering to be polite, watching your manners, listening to her chuntering on and on about her family as well as asking him about hers all the time.  Problem solved. Stiffy gone.

Anyway didn’t she want to spend some time with her girlfriends?

But he still didn’t get it about Red. “So, who is she?”

Red tapped the side of his nose.  “That’s for me to know and for you not to find out. But she’s a corker. Blond. Tall. Slim. Big tits. Gorgeous.”

Archie squirmed. He wouldn’t ever talk about Amanda that way.

Ollie was frowning as well. “I can’t see what the fuss is all about.  My mum’s got big tits but I don’t fancy her.”

Red cuffed his head. “Plonker! You’re just jealous of me and Archie because we can pull the women.”

“Is she from our school?” asked Archie.

“No she ain’t. Out of your league mate. So don’t even think about it.”

Archie was puzzled. He’d got a girlfriend, so why would he want to mess around with Red’s? Especially as Red had no intention of letting him and Ollie anywhere near her. “I wouldn’t dare,” he mumbled.

“I didn’t mean you. I meant him.” Red nodded towards Ollie. He put his arm round Archie’s and Ollie’s necks. “Now then, chaps. I thought we ought to meet because this is getting serious now.  Two of us pulled in by the deadly charms of the fairer sex.”

“You what?” said Ollie.

“Two of us taken in by the delights of carnal knowledge of the glamorous gals.” He ruffled Ollie’s hair. “Don’t you fret. Your turn will come.” Red paused. “Actually, do you have anybody in mind?”

Ollie’s face went almost as red as Red’s hoodie. “Millie Davies,” he mumbled.

Archie had to suppress a laugh. He’d been at junior school with Millie and she used to wear owly specs with a broken frame held together with a plaster. Still, he supposed now that she wore contacts and short skirts she looked a bit better. In fact, she’d got very nice legs.

“Then Millie Davies it shall be,” said Red. “But first we must swear the oath of the independent gentlemen.”                


987

“I’m frigging cold here,” said Ollie. “What did you want to meet out here for, this weather.”

Ollie was right. But then you always expected Red to be a bit of a nutter.

“Because my friend, we need a bit of privacy for this.”

“Go then. Explain what you mean. Then we can go somewhere warm.”

“Right then.” Red pulled Archie and Ollie towards him. “Into a scrum, lads.”

They huddled together, arms around shoulders, heads bent. “I propose,” said Red, “that we swear on the bones of old Jeff Astle that we shall not let women come between us. That we shall go to the Hawthorns every Saturday afternoon that the Baggies play at home. And if we’re away, we watch the footy on the telly.”

“What about the summer?” asked Ollie.

“Tell ‘em we’re off to Edgbaston, even if we’re not.” Red took a deep breath. “That at least two nights a week we let them go wash their hair and do other girly things while we have a men’s night.”

“What about homework and stuff?” asked Archie. 

“Do it while you’re trying to get into their knickers. In fact it might help. They might be more willing to, you know, if you show them you’re serious about learning.  They like that, the girls.”

Archie actually enjoyed doing his homework with Amanda. It was less boring somehow. And it took his mind off the constant frustration. God, even Red saying the word “knickers” was getting him going.

But Red’s idea was quite good actually. And it would make being with Amanda all the more exciting when he did see her. More frustrating as well. But there were ways and means. He’d cope.

“Well then, chaps?” said Red.

“Yeah, anything you like. It don’t really apply to me,” mumbled Ollie. “Now, can we get inside?”

“Okay. We’ll sort you out. I promise. You in, Archie?”

“Yup!”

“Okay then. Pool?”

“Yes!” Archie and Ollie exchanged a glance. “Me balls are dropping off,” said Ollie.

 

It was nice and warm inside Freddie’s. It was deserted as well. Only Old Chuffy was there.  “I shouldn’t really let you in now,” he said. “We ain’t open. And you’re underage.”

“I come here with me dad. You know I do,” said Red.

“That’s different.” Chuffy sniffed and then wiped his nose on his sleeve.

Archie and Ollie tried not to titter as they saw the green streak on Chuffy’s already dirty brown overalls.

“You dirty bastard,” said Red. “I’ll tell my dad. He wants you to keep this place spotless.”

“That’s enough of your lip, young man. Okay.  You can use the old table in the back room. It’s waiting to be recovered. I don’t suppose you can hurt it.”

“Thank you Chuffy. Oh, and can you bring us half a pint each?”

“No I can’t. I ain’t the barman. We ain’t open. And you lot’m underage.” Chuffy shuffled out.

Ollie shrugged. “Oh well, I tried.” Then he grinned. “But look what I got here.” He fished two cans of beer out of the pockets of his hoodie. “We’ll have to share and we’ll have to keep them under the table. Daren’t let my old man find out. But lads, it ain’t a dry day today. Cheers.” He handed one can to Archie and pulled the ring off the other.  

Archie took a sip of his beer. It was strange drinking at this time of day. Before tea. But by God, it tasted good.

“Give us a sip,” said Ollie, as he took up the cue.

  “After you’ve had your go!” Archie didn’t like to think of him and Ollie drinking out of the same can. He could just hear what Granma would say now. Don’t you go drinking out of the same bottle of any of them friends of yours.  You know them funny boys can get the horrible disease. We don’t want none of that here.

Well, Ollie wasn’t a funny boy for sure. Not if he fancied Millie. He wasn’t either – not the way he felt about Amanda. And Red was always going on about the girls. No, he was all right here. He took another swig of the beer.

“Oy,” said Ollie. “Leave some for me.”

“Well get on with it then,” said Red, also drinking some of his beer. “Me against you two.”

Red always had to have the red balls and they always let Ollie break first. He was the worst of the three of them. Sure enough, after a couple of hits the cue ball went into the pocket, missing the yellow ball just a few centimetres away.

“Blooming Aida. We’ll have to get you lessons.” Red took his cue and lined it up with one of the red balls.

We’m never going to get another go, thought Archie as he watched Red pot five red balls in succession. He took another swig of his beer.

At last, though, the cue ball came to rest without touching another ball.

“Right, me old lovelies, you can catch up a bit. I’m going to have a ciggie,” said Red.

The first shot was all right and Ollie managed to pot a yellow. But it left the table in a bit of a mess. There wasn’t any straight line between the cue and any of their balls. He’d have to move a red.

“Can you do it?” said Ollie.

“If I can concentrate,” muttered Archie. He wished he hadn’t had so much of the beer. It really made him light-headed if he hadn’t eaten. He was glad to see that Ollie was tucking in.

The door suddenly burst open.  Red, came in, still smoking.

“Bloody freezing out there,” he said. “Oh,watch it.”

But it was too late. The red ball was rolling towards the far pocket. It was a home goal.

Suddenly the smoke alarm started ringing. Chuffy appeared at the door. “What the fuck?” he said.        

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Monday 29 July 2024

Fibbin' Archie by Gill James

 


Fibbin’ Archie as an experiment

I have wondered for some time about the presence of the Golden Segment in literature. Those of us who like literature certainly recognise that stories presented in literary form have a shape that includes a beginning, a middle that follows certain conventions, but not too strictly, and an end. If these are out of balance we notice. But is this a learned response or is it natural?

The presence of the Fibonacci series in nature tends to suggest that we are dealing with something natural here. This series of numbers can be traced in the patterns of sunflower seeds, in rabbits breeding and in branch formation in plants and trees, to give just a handful of examples. In this experiment I have set out to work with this series. One might sub-title this novel “Writing by Numbers”. The first chapter is one word long, the final one is 28,657. I have labelled each chapter simply by the number in the series it represents.

In doing this I’ve not completely ruled out my normal way of planning fiction. Distilled from various story theories I find work for me, and in particular that of Robert McKee, the shape I favour is:

Inciting incident

Growing complexities (usually three)

Crisis

Climax (This is actually the gap between the crisis and the resolution and generally where all the excitement is. From this point onwards life can never be quite the same again for the protagonist, however the story resolves. Everything up to now was a rehearsal for this big moment.)     

Resolution

A more complex novel – and Fibbin’ Archie is complex – will have sub plots. How sub plots relate to the main plot is also to do with the Golden Segment. Andrew Melrose identifies a plot pyramid in Write For Children and I build upon that work in Writing for Young Adults.      

The Fibonacci series anyway produces the Golden Segment. We see this in the ratio of any two adjacent numbers in the series to their sum. That is there in the formula described above. There are echoes of it in the three act structure and the five act structure from the world of film and television and the slightly different version of this in stage play.

This is how I worked the mathematics out for Archie.

1,597

4,180




Inciting incident

2,584

6,764





4,181

10,945




1

6,765

17,710




2

10,946

28,656




3

17,711

46,367




60019 crisis

28,657

75,024


End



 

Note that the crisis point happens at about word 60019.  So there is a build up to it and then we come back down to the resolution. Once I reached word 46,368 I knew I had to make the stakes higher. 

Christopher Vogler suggests that sometimes we can follow a formula too rigidly. He identified what works for the film industry and based his suggestions for story on Joseph Campbell’s work. Vogler suggests that it is often more satisfying for the consumer when that formula is skewed slightly. The formula is skewed slightly in Archie. Content spills round the edges of word count. It could be, perhaps that numbers aren’t accurate enough to pinpoint exactly when events need to occur. What I have stuck to rigidly here is the word count per section, and then shaped the content to the section.   

At the end of the book I’ll be giving you some more information about what it was like writing this way. I welcome commentary on this project and for once this is a book I don’t mind you giving away for free; the more people who read it the better. By all means put the usual reviews on Amazon and Good reads, good or bad. I’d also welcome direct commentary which I’ll like to publish verbatim or collated in summary if there is a huge response. Please send your comments to g.james1@slaford.ac.uk.

Thank you for taking the time to read Fibbin’ Archie.

You must have noticed the pun by now. It is, of course, deliberate.           

233

Archie’s mobile rang. My Old Man’s a Dustman. Red.  

“Hi,” said Archie.

“Done the deed?”

“Yep.”

“Man, you don’t sound convinced.”

Archie swallowed. “I told her Grandma was sick.”

“What, your Grandma? Sick? Never!”

“That’s the trouble. And she might bump into her at the shopping centre.  It’s Grandma’s day for shopping.”

“Oh, and of course. What do girls do when they’ve nothing else to do?  They go shopping. Plonker, or what?”

“I know.”

“What did she say when you told her?”

“Well, she looked all worried. Then she said we should take her some flowers. So I said she was too sick. Then she said we should visit her when she’s a bit better.”

“And what did you say to that?”

“I said it might be a nice idea.”

“You didn’t! You’re worse than a plonker. You’re mental, you.”

“I know. I tell you, they’re not worth the bother, women.”

“You’re fibbin’ again Archie. You know you think she’s worth the bother.”

“I know. But.” Archie noticed another call coming in. “Ollie’s calling.”

“Well, get it then. Tell him to meet us at the corner of Canal Street. In twenty. See ya!”

Archie hoped Red wasn’t going to interrogate him as well. He needn’t have worried. Ollie was more concerned about Red’s daftness than Archie’s.

“Canal Street? What’s he want to do then? Throw stones at the ducks? Man, it’s freezing out.”           

 

                  

  


377

Archie grabbed his coat. Ollie was right. It was flipping cold out there and what could they do meeting at the corner of Canal Street? He’d better get a move on if he was going to get there in twenty minutes. There were two main roads to cross. You always had to wait for the green man. He’d better step on it.

It was even colder than he thought. A couple of times he slipped on the ice.

“You want to take more water with it,” shouted Foxy Burnett as he came out of the betting shop of the corner of Glastonbury Road and Bristol Avenue. “You going to your Grandma’s?”

Archie had just almost crashed into a car half parked on the pavement. Sneaky old pervert, he thought as he saw Foxy’s eyes lit up. “She’s probably gone shopping,” he said.

“Oh, well give her my regards when you see her,” said Foxy. “And tell her me offer still stands.  If she’ll have me.”

Gross, thought Archie. He fancies her. Archie felt slightly sick. Foxy was a dirty old beggar and he smelt awful. No chance for him with Grandma. She was much too particular. Thank goodness.

“Well, you will, won’t you?” said Foxy.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Archie. “Get out of my way, will you? I’m in a hurry.”

“Where’ve you got to get to then? In such a tearing hurry? ”

“Corner of Canal Street. Move, then.”

“Which one?”

Ah. Foxy had a point. Red had not said which corner. And Canal Street was half a mile long. The nearest bit was at least twenty minutes away. Now Foxy had held him up. He’d never make it.

Archie found Red’s number in his phone. Darn! It was engaged. But at last Foxy had moved out of the way now.

Archie tried Ollie.

Ollie answered. “Hiya. What’s keeping you?”

“Which corner?”

“Bottom Row. Where do you think? Durr! You wouldn’t imagine he’d want to move far from home, would you?”

“Okay. See you soon.”

“Move it, man. He’s nearly finished talking to his new girlfriend. He’ll get stroppy if you’re not here in five.”

“I’m doing my best, man.”

Ollie finished the call.

Red had a girlfriend. When did that happen?  

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